Failed Screenwriter’s Notebook

The Smuggle Hunters (G)

Joe McCall (Bruce Willis) and 11 year-old boy-genius Joe McCall Jr (Verne Troyer) are father and son American law enforcement agents who work together on cross-border bootlegging cases during the Prohibition period.

Together they hunt an infamous gang led by Jim Maplethorne (Keifer Sutherland) – a wily character who’s made millions illegally smuggling booze from Canada into the US (by sneakily dumping barrels of booze over Niagara Falls to be picked up on the American side).

After various failed attempts to crack the case (e.g. Joe Jr is ambitiously sent over the Niagara Falls in a barrel), the bad guys are busted when the McCall’s enlist the help of a friendly Sasquatch (John Lithgow) who leads them to Maplethorne’s hidden warehouse.

Notes: Include a female character, Maplethorne’s hirsute cousin/wife Tallulah (Celine Dion). Perhaps the friendly Sasquatch could become a bit too friendly when he mistakes her for a lady Sasquatch?