Failed Screenwriter’s Notebook

Shoe City (G)

Basic rom-com (slob male/unattainable babe) with a Disney/Pixar twist: all the characters are shoes. They all live in a divided city with the fashionable shoes living on the west side and the unfashionable shoes (e.g. trainers, running shoes) on the east side. The city is divided by a giant wall that is patrolled by eagle-eyed bouncers.

Aspiring rock star, Chuck (Kevin James) and his best friend, burned out 70′s casualty Dietmar Moonjazz (David Bowie), spend their days dreaming of making it over the wall to the west, where they feel they belong.

One day, at the annual Mid-town rave, Chuck meets Sally (Scarlett Johansson), who is a Westsider! They fall in love but she’s engaged to Vito ‘Etch-a-Sketches’ Smackallino (Tracy Morgan), reigning king of Shoe City’s drug trade (& mayor). [note: Unbeknownst to Sally, Vito is having an affair with nightclub singer, 'Rug Burns' Pastaggio (Megan Fox).]

At the stroke of midnight Chuck & Sally are forced to part along with the rest of the population and return through the central gate to their own side of the city until next year. But Chuck can’t wait that long…

Can Chuck & Dietmar make it over the wall disguised as fashionable lady-shoes and find Sally again before the wedding? If so, can Chuck & Sally escape the wrath of Vito? Will Chuck & Dietmar be allowed to stay in the West & fulfill their dreams?

Possible dialogue:

Chuck: “Mr Smackallino, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for Shoe City, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Mr. Smackallino, open this gate! Mr. Smackallino, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!” (crowd erupts into wild applause)

Original song:

“Together we’re a pair” by Tom Waits and that girl from the Ting Tings.

Kevin James

Scarlett Johansson

Megan Fox

David Bowie

Tracy Morgan