Back to Black (PG-13)
November 4, 2009
Back to Black (PG-13)
Distinguished Harvard Professor Sidney Potts (Danny Glover) is driving home to the suburbs, along with his equally distinguished wife (Oprah Winfrey), son (Tyler Perry) and his son’s partner (Jeremy Piven). Having just attended an award ceremony celebrating the achievements made by African-Americans over the past 30 years or so, they are all a little tipsy after enjoying a Champagne fuelled evening. On the radio, Sam Cooke is singing Change is Gonna Come.
Then disaster strikes. They take a wrong turn and find themselves lost in an inner-city ghetto. Suddenly, they crash into another car and both cars are wrecked. The Potts’ emerge unscathed. However, the four occupants of the other car (a pimp, a drug dealer and two prostitutes) are killed.
Fearing arrest or lynching by angry locals they decide that if they can make it back to ‘their world’, they know people who could “make this go away”. Realising that they wouldn’t last 5 minutes on these tough streets dressed as they are, they steal the clothes of the corpses and set out on foot (Cosby and Perry disguised as pimp and drug dealer, with Oprah and Piven as their bitches.)
Unfortunately, their only knowledge of how ghetto people act comes from half-remembered 70’s black-sploitation films. Piven’s character is the only one who has any idea how to ‘act black’, but it’s still gonna be a looooong night. Hilarity ensues.
Possible dialogue:
Corrupt local cop (Joe Pesci): “Hey! Yous ******* must be new round here? Have you paid your taxes? No? OK, let me take a ride round the block with that cute little white chick and we’ll call it even.”
Speed-Dial (PG-13)
October 27, 2009
Speed Dial (PG-13)
Incomprehensible, Hollywood remake of the Japanese horror classic: Great Buddha! by Bestowing Most Favoured Friend Status on You, via Phone Function, I Condemn You to a Cruel Death (R).
An attractive blonde teen’s equally attractive teen friends are dying in mysterious and violent circumstances. First the Asian one… Then the black one… Even the disabled one…
With the help of hunky cop (David Caruso), the blonde discovers that they’re being killed in the order in which they’re placed on her speed dial.
Could the killer be teen ex-boyfriend (Matt LeBlanc) in a deranged attempt to regain the coveted No. 1 spot? Yes.
Look out for the lazy sequel ‘Speed-Dial 2: By The Numbers’
Power From Within (PG-13)
October 22, 2009
Power From Within (PG-13)
2072: America reaches the tipping point where there are more prisoners than not.
Life-long criminal Sal Bergen (Kurt Russell) leads a revolution, organising fellow prisoners across the country to vote in bloc to elect an unscrupulous lawyer (Steve Buscemi) as their puppet President. Soon after election, a series of legislative measures are swept through so that people outside the prison walls become outlaws.
Ted and Ruby Eggert (Tim Robbins & Susan Sarandon) lead a group of angry senior citizens who won’t give up their freedom without a fight.
Knock, Knock… (R)
October 19, 2009
Knock, Knock… (R)
Disturbed ventriloquist Adrian Winter (Edward Norton) and his pregnant wife Katharine (Winona Ryder) spend their first Halloween together, renovating a run-down (and supposedly haunted) beach house.
Unexplained happenings escalate and they have terrifying glimpses of what appears to be a masked child, scurrying around the house. Soon Katharine is fearing for her life… and the life of her unborn child!
Is Adrian insane and behind the disturbances himself? Or could Adrian’s dummy ‘Woodstock’ actually be alive and suffering from a maniacal form of sibling rivalry?
Possible dialogue:
Katharine: “No darling, it couldn’t have been Woodstock. It was you… You put kitty litter in the humus!”
